If they'll buy Turnbull, they'll buy anything

If you watch close, history does nothing but repeat itself. What we call chaos is just patterns we haven't recognized - Chuck Palahniuk, Survivor

Now, the key to that mutual respect is that it is a two-way street. Every religion, every faith, every moral doctrine, understands the Golden Rule: Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Malcolm Turnbull

Let men see, let them know, a real man, who lives as he was meant to live. Marcus Aurelius

Rare Photograph of the Parliamentary Liberal Party After Just Two Months with Captain Turnbull in the Left Hand Seat

Turnbull soars ahead in latest Newspoll

Extra! Extra! Read all about it... here

If the main stream media is for it, I recommend you reject it - with enthusiasm

I seem to smell the stench of appeasement in the air. Margaret Thatcher

Fame for fame's sake is toxic - some people want that, with no boundaries. It's unhealthy - Annie Lennox

Abortion is Domestic Violence

Nobody's perfect. Well, there was this one guy, but we killed him. Christopher Moore

Politics is tricky; it cuts both ways. Every time you make a choice, it has unintended consequences. Stone Gossard

For Turtle of WA #1794446, posted on September 14, 2015 at 9:13 am - A white-anter, like Rudd, and pointless, like Gillard. What a turd.

To succeed in the world, it is much more necessary to possess the penetration to discern who is a fool, than to discover who is a clever man. Charles Maurice de Talleyrand

Ingratitude: To repay the kindness of a benefactor with ill will or injury

Heterophobics Unite!

Brandeis University Identity Politics 101 Final Exam Question

Alinsky - RULE 12: Pick the target, freeze it, personalize it, and polarize it

First Things First

Help me!
I can’t
Why not?
I’m white
So?
They’ll call me names
But I’m six years old and have been raped
um…
Help me?
um…
Please?
um…
Oh no, here they come again
um…
No, please, no…
———————-
Meanwhile in Canberra the Prime Minister is knee deep in negotiations regarding the wording of the Constitutional amendment recognising the first inhabitants of Australia

Between Senator Nova Peris Tim Tam and Prime Minister Tony 'Haig' Abbott, I'm sure we'll see this problem solved as effectively as all the others.

For m0nty - Catallaxy Files #1769030, posted on August 16, 2015 at 12:38 pm

For Lem - Catallaxy Files #1761964, posted on August 9, 2015 at 6:28 pm

The Special Goodes Regiment

 

Extra! Extra! Read all about it... here

Perhaps Emily's List is right after all

Plibersek and Wong

For johanna - Catallaxy Files #1747442, posted on July 25, 2015 at 4:18 pm

They make Elvira look like Doris Day

Extra! Extra! Read all about it... here

Tony Jones takes one for the team

You, sir, are the scion of an ancestral procession of idiots stretching back to the Missing Link - Mark Twain to a snake oil peddler

Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that - George Carlin

Misery acquaints a man with strange bedfellows: Trinculo in 'The Tempest' William Shakespeare

Strange Bedfellows

A Farce in One Act

 
Scene: A bus stop where a queue of commuters wait patiently. One is listening to the news on his iPhone.
 
Voice over

• This is the ABC News. Indonesia has given approval for Australians Andrew Chan and Myuran Sukumaran’s transfer from prison to be executed for drug trafficking…

 
Low Information Voter

• They can’t just kill ‘em, can they? I mean, it’s not right, is it? I mean, nobody died… did they?

Green Hipster

• And using the force of the state to kill is just not something an intelligent voter in a modern western democracy can support.

 
Low Information Voter

• I mean I wouldn’t do smack or nuffink like that… Well I did once but I wouldn’t sell it, except for the time me mate Jacko needed a hit. I mean he was really desperate and anyway I needed the money for Kylie’s child support.

 
Green Hipster

• If we’re not careful, we’ll see the Police shooting girls armed with knives and getting away with it.

 
Low Information Voter

• ‘uken A! Then they’ll be wantin’ to be shootin’ me just for selling dope to school kids. It’s just ‘uken wrong. It’s not like I’m a head lopping islamic ‘uck head. Am I roight?

 
Green Hipster

• I disagree with any use of state force including war. War is not the answer.

 
Low Information Voter

• Well, that depends on the 'uken question, dunnit?

Green Hipster

• Well, perhaps you are right but to apply lethal force with such cold forethought against an unarmed human. It’s barbaric, it’s unconscionable. One cannot be human and sanction such an act of brutality.

 
Low Information Voter

• Yeah, it’s loik when Kylie got pregnant, she wanted, ya know, to get it fixed, ya know, an abortion.

 
Green Hipster

• There’s nothing wrong with that. It’s a woman’s right to choose.

 
Low Information Voter

• No way. It was my kid and anyways she was seven months in before she wanted to rid of the kid, so it was too late anyway.

Green Hipster

• It wasn’t too late at all. She could have had an abortion up to the moment before delivery.

 
Low Information Voter

• Ya shitten’ me?

 
Green Hipster

• Not at all. It’s called a late term abortion and it’s fully sanctioned with the authority of the state government and financed by the Federal Government. It’s a women’s health issue.

 
Low Information Voter

• No ‘uken way!

 
Green Hipster

• Yes way, in fact my partner Moonbeam-Starlight had one and I supported her all the way.

 
Low Information Voter swings a clenched fist connecting with the Green Hipster’s chin. An audible crack fills the silence as Green Hipster crumples to the ground in slow motion like a skinny sack of fairy floss.
 
Low Information Voter (Standing over Green Hipster)

• Ya sick fuck!

 
Green Hipster (Sporting a newly broken jaw)

• Poleeth! Poleeth! Thoot thith lunatic…

Read all about it here

When anyone asks how I can best describe my experience in nearly 40 years at sea, I merely say, uneventful... in all my experience, I have never been in any accident of any sort worth speaking about - Captain E.J. Smith, Captain of Titanic

Jefferson and Washington had no idea these idiots would exist, otherwise they would not have made killing illegal - Anonymous

Failure to Launch

The Masque of Anarchy

Potemkin's Village will be closed for the foreseeable future.
I wish you all the best in your endeavours.

Life is Short. Pray Hard

If the media were honest, they would say, Look, here are the interests we represent and this is the framework within which we look at things - Noam Chomsky

Hobart College: Your Children's Principal's principles

Under certain circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer - Mark Twain

Extra! Extra! Read all about it... here

Even if they try to kill you, you develop the inner conviction that there are some things so precious, some things so eternally true that they are worth dying for. - Martin Luther King Jr.

Does the Vice-Chancellor and President Professor Warren Bebbington know?

Extra! Extra! Read all about it... here and here

We preserve the status quo, preserve existing systems - Julie Bishop

There are other measures of self respect for a man, than the number of clean shirts he puts on every day - Ralph Waldo Emerson

An Australian Political Fable

The Turtle and The Scorpion

Paul was a union national secretary with ambitions, but he was also uneducated and spineless. One day he asked Tony, a Prime Minister to carry him politically on his back toward leadership of the Australian Labor Party by partnering up on industrial relations policy.

“Are you mad?” exclaimed Tony the Prime Minister. “You’ll stab me while I’m carrying you and I’ll be replaced by Malcolm the Minister.”

“My dear Tony,” laughed Paul the union national secretary, “because we would be as one on industrial relations, if I were to stab you I would go down with you. Now where is the logic in that?”

“You’re right!” cried Tony. “Hop on!”

Paul climbed aboard and halfway through the policy development process, he shoved a Ka-Bar mightily between Tony’s shoulder blades. The subsequent slanging match sank them both to a single par at the bottom of page 36 of the Adelaide Advertiser.

As they fell into political obscurity, Prime Minister Tony sadly asked, “If there was no logic in your stabbing me, why did you do it?”

“It has nothing to do with logic,” the now irrelevant union national secretary despondently replied. “It’s just in my nature.”

Postscript

Meanwhile, sitting on the bank of Lake Burley Griffin, quietly observing the shenanigans between Tony and Paul, Malcolm the Minister was sharing a bottle of Egon Muller-Scharzhof Scharzhofberger Riesling with Tanya the Baby Killer.

Both seemed quietly contented until Cory Bernardi came up behind them and smacked them both in the back of the head with his Louisville Slugger.

It is better to remain silent at the risk of being thought a fool, than to talk and remove all doubt of it - 'Mother Goose, Her Book' Maurice Switzer

Extra! Extra! Read all about it here

Compact fluorescent lights are basically bloody useless things masquerading as something they aren’t. Remind you of anyone? H B Bear

I wonder if he takes it as easily as he gives it?

To paraphrase Mr Scott himself...

"I have never said I have complete knowledge or understanding (of the claims) at all. In fact this post is about allegations that have been raised, and my pursuit of a full understanding of what has gone on in the absence of a clear and complete explanation as to how these allegations about a paedophile ring in the ABC came to be."

The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers - William Shakespeare

Extra! Extra! Read all about it... here

Adam Goodes is to chivalry what Sarah Hanson-Young is to statesmanship

Extra! Extra! Read all about it... here (only if you have a strong constitution)

The world's second oldest profession

Malcolm has some competition

The best argument for a truly conservative libertarian party in Australia

Extra! Extra! Read all about it... here

Stasis ˈsteɪsɪsˈ Noun - A period or state of inactivity or equilibrium

A dismal scientist goes to church